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Okay, let me start by being honest, because if I’m not that, then this is all kind of pointless, which it might be anyway, but I won’t know until I try, right? I hate writing. Hate. Writing. It’s not that I’m bad at it or anything. I just really don’t enjoy the process because my low back starts threatening to murder me if I sit too long in a chair at the computer typing, and my hand starts threatening all-out war (reminding me that there are 5 fingers on it and just one of me) if I write by hand instead of typing. Come to think of it, both hands threaten to join the fight from typing, too. And I need my hands because, well, life, you know? Add to that the fact that I already have to be at the computer large parts of the day because I own and run a business, and that I am a painter, which requires my right hand to be happy and healthy, and I resist something like starting a blog. But I have been assured by multiple people that the only way to get your art out there in this day and age is to have a blog. Plus, I have a friend who is kind of coaching me on the marketing side of things, and he’s a damn tyrant (just kidding, love you, Steve) and has insisted that I blog at least once a week. I’m assuming that when my hands crap out and my low back acts on its death plots, those people will be there to pump large quantities of pain killers through my system, or at least say something really freakin’ funny (because laughter is the best medicine, after all…except for Sonata. Sonata is goooood.) So, here we are.

Let me also be honest about the fact that I have no idea what I’m going to talk about on a regular basis. It might be art. It might be dementia. It might be platypuses (platypi?). There’s just really no telling what kind of verbal diarrhea is going to come out. Can it be verbal if it’s coming out of your hands? Hand-al diarrhea? Or is it coming out of my brain? Brain-al diarrhea? How did I just end up typing “diarrhea” that many times in one paragraph? Wow, we’re off to a rocky start. I think I should end with a poll for how many times it’s appropriate to use the word “diarrhea” in one blog. Let me know in the comments:

1) It is never acceptable to use the word “diarrhea” in a blog.

2) It should be used as many times as possible, but only in a medical context.

3) It is allowable to use it whenever you want, but please don’t make up words like Hand-al and Brain-al.

4) Thank you for spelling it correctly. I never can.