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So there I was a couple nights ago, eating my weight in honey, as one is wont to do, when I started thinking about Winnie the Pooh. I had never really thought about the name before. When you grow up with something, you just kind of accept it but never really think twice about the origin of such a name. But let’s think about it now for a moment. Why the fuck was a male teddy bear named Winnie, a girl’s name, and what justified calling him a Pooh? What the hell is a pooh? Is it related to poop? Or does it refer to poo-pooing, i.e. dismissing something? So I looked to Wikipedia, my favorite source for occasionally accurate information, and it said that “Christopher Milne [A.A. Milne’s son] had named his toy bear after Winnie, a Canadian black bear he often saw at London Zoo, and “Pooh”, a swan they had met while on holiday.” Apparently some dude bought a female bear cub for $20 in Canada and then stashed it in the London Zoo during WWI, and AA Milne’s kid saw it there. He (the dude that bought the bear) named it Winnie after Winnipeg. Okay, that makes sense. But why, then, did AA Milne choose to make the bear character a male, knowing full well that Winnie was a female bear? That leaves me shaking my head, but it’s still less befuddling than Pooh. They met a swan named Pooh? WTF? And they decided to add a swan’s name to the clearly gender-confused bear (who is always voiced by male actors and who is always referred to as “he” in the books). So our transgender bear is also a swan? I’m so confused.

Anyway, the only way to make myself feel better about this is to eat more honey, I think. At what point does one’s blood turn to straight honey, and if one tested one’s blood sugar at that point, what would it register?

P.S. I may have also been drinking before eating all that honey, so feel free to attribute this post to bourbon.