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You may have noticed that I like to curse. I actually kind of rein it in on here, sometimes replacing letters to make it so I’m not actually cursing for real, as though this in anyway softens the blow or makes it less offensive. I would like to say 2 things in my defense:

1) I learned to cuss from my mom. When I was probably about 4 or 5, a driver cut my mom off, and I piped up in my car seat in the back, “God damn driver, right Mom?” My dad was horrified. I believe his exact words were, “What have you done to my baby?!” Of course, he said the same thing when my grandmother gave me my first haircut and cut all those cute little baby curls right off. Daddy’s little girl? I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.

2) You know when people say, “For heaven’s sake, were you raised in a barn?” about people with bad manners? Well, I actually was raised in a barn. I grew up horseback riding, and if you’ve never been around a bunch of horsey folks…well, let me just tell you…sailors could learn a few phrases from riders.

Interestingly, I did not actually swear in this post except to quote my 4 year old self. Now I feel self-conscious. I don’t know why. Damn fuckety shitballs. Ahhh, that feels better.