You may have noticed that I like to curse. I actually kind of rein it in on here, sometimes replacing letters to make it so I’m not actually cursing for real, as though this in anyway softens the blow or makes it less offensive. I would like to say 2 things in my defense:
1) I learned to cuss from my mom. When I was probably about 4 or 5, a driver cut my mom off, and I piped up in my car seat in the back, “God damn driver, right Mom?” My dad was horrified. I believe his exact words were, “What have you done to my baby?!” Of course, he said the same thing when my grandmother gave me my first haircut and cut all those cute little baby curls right off. Daddy’s little girl? I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.
2) You know when people say, “For heaven’s sake, were you raised in a barn?” about people with bad manners? Well, I actually was raised in a barn. I grew up horseback riding, and if you’ve never been around a bunch of horsey folks…well, let me just tell you…sailors could learn a few phrases from riders.
Interestingly, I did not actually swear in this post except to quote my 4 year old self. Now I feel self-conscious. I don’t know why. Damn fuckety shitballs. Ahhh, that feels better.
I’ve been laughing ever since I discovered the word asshat. It closes insults nicely, as in, “Take the cellphone conversation outside, you stentorian asshat.”
LikeLike
I’m hereby deeming “stentorian” to be a curse word.
LikeLike
If I choose to I could create a sentence almost entirely made up of curse words. All because i was raised in an Australian country area by a tradesman. Sailors are polite. I am terribly polite normally, because it’s funny as hell shocking people by cursing in a suddenly thick aussie accent when pissed off.
LikeLike
Um, I’m pretty sure I need video evidence of this. Just sayin’. Wink.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dropping my semi-english accent for an aussie burl because I feel the sudden urge to tell someone what an *idiot they are? No chance. 😉 I barely let people photograph me. Besides, these things aren’t exactly scripted or planned. Thats the problem with angry outbursts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I seldom curse, like you, I’m simply in the habit of not cursing. Every time I hear a curse word I tend to literally define it in my head which only makes me smile.
LikeLike
Bwahahaha!
LikeLike
I give you permission to wear your hair over your face or bag over your head with a face drawn on it. I would even be willing to say a bunch of horrible things about you,even though I don’t know you, to spur you into an angry outburst. Hell, I could even personally draw the face on the bag and mail it to you. I’ve never sent anything to Australia, I don’t think…
LikeLike