Can someone please tell me if I’ve been wearing a sign for the last few days that says, “Please be unspeakably rude to me?” Or is there a “kick me” sign on my back? Did I get a tattoo on my forehead that is visible to everyone but me that says, “I love abuse?” I know it’s a full moon and all, but this is getting ridiculous. I don’t think even bourbon can help.

*Chanting* tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day tomorrow is a new day