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36

36″ x 24″ mixed media

This painting is the second in the series of 3 that I referenced here from the Fractured Memories series. It’s smaller, and you’ll notice that the baby elephant is now leading the parent, though they remain on the same path. As my dad’s world shrinks, I have to do more and more of the guiding, and generally he has followed along placidly over the last 3 years since he has stopped really knowing that he doesn’t know. A year or so ago, my dad was having a particularly detached day (though his state of mind on that day would be considered a good day now that the diseased has progressed more), and I took him outside for a stroll. We sat down on a bench, and I started to cry and tell him that I didn’t want him to forget me and that I didn’t want to lose him any more than I already had. I’m not sure how much of what I said he actually comprehended, but after a little more crying, I asked if he wanted to sing a song with me. He immediately started singing, Que Sera Sera, which was a song that I don’t think I’d ever heard him sing, and that he didn’t know more of than the chorus. I have no idea where that came from, but the universe or God or the part of my dad that’s still there or whatever else you might believe in gave me a gift in that moment. Letting go and accepting this journey as we move through it is insanely difficult. But ultimately, we don’t have a choice. Whatever will be will be no matter how much we fight against it. Better to embrace it and hope we’re learning something along the way. Que sera sera.

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