Wanna hear something weird? No? Well, too bad. I got twin Cabbage Patch kids for Christmas one year. They came in the same box and one was slightly taller than the other. Maybe they were just brothers and not twins, or were fraternal twins, or…who knows? I don’t know the science behind growing and harvesting Cabbage Patch kids. Anyway, part of the excitement was reading the name on the birth certificate of the dolls when they arrived. These two that I received were named Christopher and Nicholas, which were my uncle’s and dad’s names. How crazy is that? As a child, I thought it was a damn miracle. If I’d been Catholic, I’d have called the Pope and let him know that proof of a god just came in a cardboard and plastic box and smelled vaguely of baby powder and preadolescent dreams.
Cabbage Patch Twins
27 Wednesday May 2015
Posted humor
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Do you still have them?!
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Sadly, no. A couple years ago, my mom said I could no longer use her house as storage for my useless shit (mostly because she was selling the house – how dare she).
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I feel you–my parents are doing the same to me now
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I firmly believe that cabbage patch kids can steal your soul. Just look at those eyes!
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It’s the belly buttons that are the dead giveaway that you’re right. Notice that they all have serious “outties.” Clearly, they’re storing all those stolen souls in their belly buttons.
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What a conspiracy!
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