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Wanna hear something weird? No? Well, too bad. I got twin Cabbage Patch kids for Christmas one year. They came in the same box and one was slightly taller than the other. Maybe they were just brothers and not twins, or were fraternal twins, or…who knows? I don’t know the science behind growing and harvesting Cabbage Patch kids. Anyway, part of the excitement was reading the name on the birth certificate of the dolls when they arrived. These two that I received were named Christopher and Nicholas, which were my uncle’s and dad’s names. How crazy is that? As a child, I thought it was a damn miracle. If I’d been Catholic, I’d have called the Pope and let him know that proof of a god just came in a cardboard and plastic box and smelled vaguely of baby powder and preadolescent dreams.

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