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Unlike most people (i.e., my husband), I tend to actually read the instructions when I get a new power tool, or install a new light fixture, or buy furniture that needs assembling, or get an electronic toothbrush. Generally, they’re dull and mostly unhelpful and full of scream-warnings about how you’re going to go straight to hell if you turn the fan on to check that the motor is working before installing the blades. However, the instructions for the nail gun were phenomenal. They included all sorts of helpful pictures like this:


I have no idea what this means, but I’ll do my best not to do whatever Fig. U is telling me not to do. My other favorite picture was quite clear, but I love that it’s included, just in case:


I don’t know why, but to me the men look kind of like burglars, since they’re dressed all in black. I’m confused about why they’re not wearing shoes, but who am I to judge? Regardless, the next time you and your buddy are burgling a house and you come across a nail gun, do not – no matter how tempted you are – chase him and try to nail gun him in the ass. An injured partner will not make your getaway go more smoothly. Just sayin’.

Also, I just noticed the figure above that appears to be telling me not to stack pennies in front of the nail gun. I guess the nail gun doesn’t want to be verrrrrrry happy!