I got no sleep last night. It’s Jenny Lawson‘s fault. I started reading her new book, Furiously Happy, yesterday, and now Jenny Lawson is in my head. I don’t mean she’s literally in my head. She’s not that small (not that I’m calling her fat, no she’s just the right size for her, but she’s not tiny enough to be inside my head literally). Nor do I mean that she, like, bored a hole into my skull and started poking her just-the-right-size fingers around in there. I mean that her voice is in my head. Which doesn’t make me sound very good. I’m not hearing voices or anything. Except hers. But I know it’s hers, so it’s not like I’m crazy or anything. And now I sound defensive. Just. Like. Jenny. Oh my god, what has she done to me?
Anyway, when I read her writing, my brain starts thinking like hers, which is both awesome and worrisome because it’s hilarious but it won’t just shutthefuckup. Which means that I was lying there wide awake with my thoughts swirling and freaking me out and making me laugh. I might have actually laughed out loud at one point, because S rolled over and glared at me for a second. At least I think he was glaring at me. The lights were off so I couldn’t really see if his eyes were open, but he definitely rolled over and if I were him I’d have glared at me. So I glared back, just in case, so he’d know he doesn’t scare me.
And it hasn’t stopped today. Clearly. I think I need help. Or a hug from Jenny. Jenny, come hug me while wearing a koala bear costume. I have a koala bear hat, so we can match. And I promise I’ll shower and I don’t have chlamydia – the human or the koala kind.