While we were on our tour of cities along the Seine, we saw a lot of sculptures. I happen to quite like sculpture, but at certain point, I hit information overload and my way of coping was imagining what the sculptures were thinking. For your viewing pleasure, over the coming days, I’m going to share the inner monologues of some of the sculptures we saw. Fair warning: statues like to swear a lot.

“Shit. I’m exhausted. That was a rough battle. Luckily, I looked cool in my awesome hemp necklace. I was…wait. Is that an ear? Is that AN EAR?! Oh my god, there’s a fucking ear lying on the ground right next to me! I think I’m gonna throw up. I’d move, but I appear to have lost part of my foot…Holy shit, is that my ear?! This day suuuuuuucks.”