Tags
#metoo, me too, rape, rape culture, rape survivors, sexual assault, sexual assault survivor, sexual harrassment, silent victims, survivor, women
Watching the #MeToo thread on Facebook and Twitter the last couple days has been heartbreaking. The details of my own sexual harassment and assault aren’t really important. They’re very much like what so many other women and girls have experienced on a regular basis. My own experiences could have been so much worse, and they aren’t what’s heartbreaking here.
What I find really heartbreaking is how many women I know who’ve been assaulted and, many years later, are still too scared or ashamed to simply post two little words, “Me, too.” As bad as the massive trending thread looked, it’s actually worse. And even in the midst of the bravery of so many women standing up and demanding to be counted, our society still hasn’t given all of us enough of a feeling of safety for everyone to do so. It’s not a failing of the women for not feeling safe enough to post the truth, but of the rest of us who haven’t provided that safe place – a place like, oh, you know, the world.
For all of those women and girls who are grieving silently, I want you to know that you are, in fact, heard. If you never feel okay telling anyone, that’s alright. But I hope you eventually find someone who you can trust to believe you, embrace you, and help you understand that you don’t need to be ashamed and you are not at fault – someone who will help you forgive yourself even though you are not the one who needs forgiveness. I hope you rise, my dear.
Prints and other merchandise with this painting on it can be found here and here.
The Perks of Being an Artist 
It is naive to assume that every woman who doesn’t share her “me, too” is afraid or ashamed or needs to forgive herself. Maybe we don’t want to feel a kick in the gut every time we get a notification that somebody “likes” the fact that we were raped. Or maybe what happened to us is bigger than some flash-in-pan hashtag trend.
I have shared “me, too” stories privately with several strong, kickass women who I can assure you are not afraid, ashamed, or self-blaming. Interestingly, none of them have posted a “me, too” status either. I don’t know their specific reasoning but it’s not my business why they did not post. Not everyone is comfortable airing personal stories for public consumption.
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I 100% agree. I didn’t mean to imply that the only reason for not posting was shame that the event happened or that anyone who didn’t post it was in any way “weak.” But I know literally dozens of women who weren’t comfortable sharing their story or posting “me, too” for some of the reasons I stated. My point is that we, as a society, haven’t made it safe for women to post such a statement. As you say, no one wants to feel a kick in the gut every time someone “likes” the fact that they were raped (and sexual assault doesn’t only take the form of rape). Every woman is free to deal with her own traumas in any way that is right for HER. My drawing was an effort to let EVERY woman know, even if they aren’t getting support/acknowledgement via social media that those of who posted are, that she is still being thought about, validated, and loved. It was not in any way meant as a judgment.
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Thank you for writing this.
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Your drawing and words give me chills, and have left me feeling warm and hopeful.
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