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A couple days ago, I got to work on a couple new painting videos for you. The first one went fine and you can view it below. But during the second one, three things happened: 1) my phone stopped recording for no reason, 2) when I realised it, I got distracted and knocked a ton of ink all over the painting, and 3) when I stood up and reached forward about 20 degrees, I threw my back out. Awwwwwwesome. Is this what 40 looks like?! So then I stood there for about a half hour afraid to move, all the while screaming obscenities in my brain and wishing I could scream them out loud but knowing it would hurt too much. Greeeaaaaaat. I finally managed to sit, but that made it worse, so I kind of oozed and rolled my way to the floor and lay there for a while. By the way, there’s a lot of dust under the guest bed. I know that now…not that I’ll be cleaning under there any time soon.

Eventually, the need to pee convinced me to do my best Walking Dead impression and I zombie-walked to the bathroom where I stood and stared at the toilet for a while trying to figure out how I was going to lower myself onto it. First time in my life I actually wished I was in a public restroom because there are handicap bars for this kind of thing, y’all. Finally managed to sit and then had to stay there for a while trying to figure out how to wipe without screaming.

Since then, I’ve been stuck mostly in bed with the exception of when I need to get up to pee. I fear the process of getting in and out of bed looks and sounds disturbingly like a cow giving birth, but S married me for better or for worse, so tough shit, Sweetums.

I did manage to shower today, so I smell a little less like a cow giving birth. So there’s that. And I could sit up enough to get this video uploaded and onto my blog because that’s how much I love you.