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The Perks of Being an Artist

Category Archives: Haunt

There’s a Fungus Among Us

15 Friday Sep 2017

Posted by emilypageart in cats, culture, Eerieville, Haunt, humor, singing, Uncategorized

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

bag of smut, corn, corn maze, corn smut, elucidate, fungus, gourmet Mexican food, huitlacoche, jack sparrow jar of dirt, mushroom, smut maze

I was hoping to have exciting news to tell you all today about our next big adventure, but it looks like things have stalled. So I’m going to hold off on telling you about it and instead just say that I will probably be bald in the near future as all the stress is causing me to tear my hair out. And my head is kinda lumpy, so I don’t expect it to be a good look on me. Send bourbon posthaste.

In the mean time, I wanted to tell you about smut. Apparently, smut is edible, y’all. Confused? Well, let me elucidate*.

I’m talking about corn. And smut. Specifically, corn smut.  That, apparently, is a thing. Wanna know how I know? We have it at the haunt. Instead of a corn maze, we have a smut maze. And it is creeeeeeeepy! This is what I mean:

corn smut 1
corn smut 2
corn smut 3

Revolting, right? Revolting and edible – like, delicacy edible. It’s called Huitlacoche. In Mexico, it’s considered to be gourmet, like truffles: http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/articles/detail/huitlacoche. American farmers have tried everything to eradicate it, but they really should have been harvesting it and selling it at top dollar to Mexican restaurants.

Generally, I’m not very adventurous when it comes to my food, but I figure, if I can eat Francy Feast (that’s what I call fancy French cuisine like snails), I can eat what is, essentially, just a mushroom growing on some corn. I found out a little late that this stuff could be eaten, so I have less to harvest than I would have a couple weeks ago, but that didn’t stop me from forcing the bile back down in my throat as I picked the exploding gray kernels, then gleefully running around with a plastic bag of my pickings singing, “I’ve got a bag of smut! I’ve got a bag of smut!” as though I was Jack Sparrow with a jar of dirt. The neighbors may be worried.

I’m not a cook, so I’ve frozen my bag o’ smut and will be saving it for my friend (who made the mistake of telling me about huitlacoche in the first place) to cook up into something yummy for me when I see him in November. It’s sitting in the bottom of my freezer right now, looking like bag of horrific skin growths. I have to admit that I’m not overly excited at what it’ll taste like, but I reaaaaaaally want to be able to say that I’ve eaten a bag of smut.

I’ll do my best to remember to post about what smut tastes like when the time comes. Until then, seriously, send bourbon. The stress of everything is killing me.

* I can’t hear the word “elucidate” without thinking of this, which cheers me up, so I’ll be playing it on repeat for the forseeable future. My cats approve.

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More Creepy Trees, Y’All

16 Thursday Feb 2017

Posted by emilypageart in DIY, Haunt, Uncategorized

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

carving foam, creepy tree, DIY, Eerieville, foam, halloween, Haunt, haunted attraction, haunted trail, sculpting, sculpting in foam, skeleton tree, skull, skulls, styrofoam, tree

It’s time to reveal another creepy tree for the haunt! Woohoo! Just in case you missed it, here’s the first one. This one was kind of a different process. I used the corners from the first block of foam that I’d trimmed off to shape the original tree. I glued them together, then sculpted a bunch of skulls from some other waste pieces of foam from that first tree. Then I got messy. I adhered the skulls to the core with spray foam, and once that had dried, covered the whole thing with foam coat. Then I slapped a few layers of paint on that bad boy and now we’ve got ourselves another fun set dressing!

Because I love you dearly, I documented the process along the way:

skull-tree-6

On the right, you see just the foam core, skulls, and spray. On the left, you see the foam coat that’s applied on top.

skull-tree

First, I painted the whole thing dark brown.

skull-tree-2

Then I added lighter browns and greens on top to make it look more like bark and bring out the skulls.

skull-tree-4

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Dem Creepy, Creepy Trees

25 Wednesday Jan 2017

Posted by emilypageart in art, DIY, Eerieville, Haunt, humor, painting, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

carving, carving foam, corn maze, creepy tree, Eerieville, foam, foam coat, Haunt, haunted attraction, haunted trail, hot wire, hot wire foam, hot wire sculpting, sculpting, sculpting in foam, skeleton, skeleton tree, styrofoam

Okay, I finally – FINALLY – finished one of the creepy trees that will be set dressing at Eerieville (the 21 acres we’re transforming into a haunted attraction). This was my first time working with foam, hot wires, and foam coat. Paint, though, I am obviously familiar with. This is the total opposite way for my brain to create, as it involves whittling away as opposed to building up. I’ve done very little carving since college, and I’ve certainly never done it with hot wires, so it was incredibly challenging (especially since I’m accident prone). I’m also not working with the ideal tools because they’re hella expensive and out of my budget, so it’s taking me way longer than it would otherwise. I’ve been documenting the steps along the way, specifically for you, dear reader. So here is our first creepy tree:

foam-stacks

First, we had to unload these 8’x 3′ x 4′ blocks of foam. Yes, I injured myself doing this.

foam-tree-skeleton-first

Then I had to carve the block into the basic shape of a round tree. Yes, I injured myself doing this.

foam-tree-skeleton-drawing

Then I drew on the skeleton that I wanted to be emerging from the tree. No, I didn’t injure myself doing this, but I did lose the cap to the pen, which hurt my heart.

foam-tree-skeleton-early

Then I got to carve in the skeleton and add texture so that it resembled bark a little more. Yes, I injured myself doing this. 

foam-skeleton-tree

Next, I coated the tree with a product called Foam Coat that dries to a concrete-like finish. Yes, I injured myself doing this.

foam-tree-skeleton-final-2

Then I painted it dark brown, let that dry, and dry brushed on two lighter shades of brown and some green. Yes, I injured myself doing this.

foam-tree-skeleton-final

Then I stood back and was proud of myself. I did not injure myself doing this, but I did trip over a bottle of paint while I was backing up to take this picture.

And there you have it. Several more trees to go, along with a whole bunch of other props, and I’ll try to remember to take pics for you but I don’t have the best memory (too many fumes from the burning foam), so I’m not making any promises.

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Hurricane Matthew Is an Asshole

08 Saturday Oct 2016

Posted by emilypageart in Eerieville, Haunt, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Eerieville, flooding, Haunt, haunted attraction, haunted trail

Click on this link, then scroll down until you see the tweet from Derek Medlin. That was shot on the outside just outside our property where we’re building the haunt. Yes, the haunt looks like that, too. All the buildings are flooded, the fields and the woods and trail are washed out. We’ve gotten 17 inches of rain so far, and they’re projecting at least 10 more overnight. Sometimes there is not enough bourbon in the world.

 

 

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Powering Through *Now With Styrofoam!*

08 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by emilypageart in art, DIY, Eerieville, endometriosis, Haunt, health, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

art, artist, creepy trees, Eerieville, foam, Haunt, haunted attraction, haunted trail, sculpting, styrofoam

It’s been a rough few days in my body, folks. Last week, I started going into a fibromyalgia flare, which means I’m stiff and sore and feel like I have the flu all day, every day. My joints  ache and my brain gets fuzzy and full of lint. Then the fibromyalgia exacerbated a endometriosis flare. And now I’m a hot mess. We got a shipment of styrofoam in at the haunted screampark and I was super excited to start sculpting it, so on Monday, I loaded up on Advil and Aleve and headed out, intending just to start working on a piece for a couple hours. It was going really well, though, so I kept going, and going, and going. Six and a half hours later, I finally called it quits because it was getting dark. And then I realized that I am a stupid, stupid human. When will I learn that pushing through  a couple extra hours will mean days of inability to function?

Yes, powering through is sometimes necessary. In fact, in this body, most days it’s necessary. Around these here parts, it’s called life. But I need to learn not to pretend I’m a superhero. So after a couple rough days, today I’m back in the studio, but I only painted for a couple hours in hopes that I’ll be able to paint again tomorrow. And I’m limiting my time on the computer, which is equally frustrating, but which gives my hands a break.

The worst part about all this ouchiness, though, is that I’m so loaded up on Advil and Aleve that I can’t have bourbon. I haven’t had bourbon in almost two weeks. TWO WEEKS! I know. Feel free to feel sorry for me. I feel sorry for myself. And I can’t even cry into my bourbon.

Lest you think that I callously abandoned you while limiting my computer time, I thought I’d share a couple photos from what is quickly becoming styrofoam land. I’m working on trees that will have creepy faces, some skeletons emerging from them, etc. Still a looooong way to go just on this first one, but still, progress:

styrofoam-blocks

tree-skeleton-beginning

tree-skeleton-drawn-on

tree-skeleton-initial-carving

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Percy Shell-y

25 Friday Mar 2016

Posted by emilypageart in Eerieville, Haunt, humor, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

baby turtle, Eerieville, Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster, haunted attraction, Mary Shelley, Percy Shelley, Shel Silverstein, turtle, Witch's Hollow

Hi everyone! Meet Percy Shell-y, our resident turtle at the haunt. He lives in the Witch’s Hollow, since the damn thing is always flooded.

Percy Shell-y

Hello. I’m a turtle. Will you be my friend?

I have also seen a baby turtle swimming around, who I have named Shell Silverstein. Since there’s a baby, one must assume that Mary Shell-y also resides in the Witch’s Hollow, which means we should probably expect an appearance by Frankenstein’s monster at some point in the coming years.

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Stoopid Farming Equipment

22 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by emilypageart in art, dance, DIY, Eerieville, Haunt, humor, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

attaching tractor implements, corn maze, deadly jazz hands, drive shaft, farming, first position, flooding, Haunt, haunted attraction, haunted trail, planting corn, shaft, tiller, yoga

As any of my regular readers know, we’re building a haunted attraction south of Raleigh. My regular readers also know we’ve faced tons of flooding issues on the property. We were supposed to be open about 3 years ago, but still aren’t because of various issues like the flooding. Last year, we had planned to just open during the day with a corn maze and other family friendly activities on the part of the property that doesn’t flood, but the guy who was supposed to plant our corn bailed at the last minute, screwing us.

This year, we bought the equipment and are going to try it ourselves, so on Tuesday, we tromped out to the tractor to disconnect the bush hog equipment from the tractor and connect the new tiller. Five hours later and more cursing than I care to admit to, we gave up when we realized that the damned drive shaft they gave us was too long. That’s right, I know what a drive shaft is. And it’s not nearly as much fun as it sounds (can you imagine how disappointed people are going to be when they google “shaft” and come across this post?). Fuuuuuuuuuuck. So S went to the place we purchased it from yesterday and one of the workers is going to come out and hacksaw the blasted thing to the right length so we can actually use it.

The only thing that kept me from killing someone (and by someone, I mean S, since he was the only person around) was the laughter I got every time I looked at the warning labels on the equipment. I want my new job to be creating the drawings for warning labels. Here are two of my favorites from Tuesday:

tractor bucket warning

Warning! Do not bop naked dancing hippies on the head with the front end bucket! They can’t help it. They’ve just dropped too much acid.

drive shaft warning

If I was this flexible, I would teach yoga. But I’m not. So fuck you, Yoga. Also, if I die a horrible death via rotating driveline, I hope I have the wherewithal to flash jazz hands and keep my feet in perfect first position.

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Fireflies Becoming Stars

17 Wednesday Jun 2015

Posted by emilypageart in gratitude, Haunt

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

being in the moment, fireflies, just being, learning to be, magic, stars

Sunday night, S and I went out to the haunt so that he could show me a shack he had just built for a new set. We headed out just before dusk, drove the truck over to the shack, and climbed onto the roof. We lay back looking at the sky and started talking and reconnecting in a way we haven’t in years. No talk about work, or future plans, or anything stressful. We talked about happy memories of camping as kids and young adults. In the distance, a train would go by periodically with its haunting whistle, making me think warm thoughts about my dad. And as dusk turned to night, we watched the property transform into something magical. The fireflies came out with a display like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I never realized how high they flew, because when we ran around catching them as kids, they were always down low and easy to snare. But they fly around even more in the tops of the tree line than they do in the field, dancing and twinkling and sparkling like something in a Disney movie. And every now and then, a firefly would rise above the tree line and appear to merge with the stars for a brief moment. And it felt like my heart was rising and merging, too. We lay there for over 2 hours, just watching and occasionally commenting, and for the first time in a long time, just being. Magic.

Fireflies Becoming Stars 5"x9" watercolor on paper

Fireflies Becoming Stars 5″x9″ watercolor on paper

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Sasquatch

24 Sunday May 2015

Posted by emilypageart in death, dementia, Eerieville, Haunt, humor

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

bush hog, deer, dying pets, fawn, Sasquatch, sick pets, trauma

So, I’ve been in a bit of a funk, which is why I’ve been a little MIA this last week. Watching the world’s-greatest-cat-that-ever-was-in-all-the-land get older and sicker has been really weighing on me. He’s had several trips to the vet and is, most likely, on his 9th and final life. He’s really only eating when I give him an appetite stimulant, which isn’t good. I find myself down on my hands and knees by his food saying, “Look Satch, Mommy likes the food. Don’t you want to eat the food? Mmmm, you would really love this chicken stew,” and trying not to gag at the smell. While this would be incredibly hard on its own, for some reason I’m linking all this with my dad, because we’ll most likely end up having to coax my dad to eat as the dementia progresses. We’ve watched the staff do that with other residents as they neared the end. I feel like this whole not eating thing is a taste of things to come (A “taste?” Did you see what I did there? See how I laugh in the face of pain? Cough.)

Today between teaching classes, I went down to the haunted attraction we’re building to bush hog the parking pasture. In case you’re not familiar with bush hogging, it’s like mowing with a tractor in really high grass. And you bounce a lot, which is really hard on your boobs. You could film it with close-ups of bouncing boobage and market it as farmer porn and call it Haywatch. All was going fine, I was inhaling large quantities of bugs and grass seed and pollen and such, bouncing around getting whiplash and choking on my own breasteses, and silently gloating that I was squishing all the fire ant hills, when suddenly I looked down in front of the tractor and saw that on my last pass, I’d uncovered a dead baby fawn. It was the tiniest, cutest little deer I’d ever seen, about the size of a cat, which immediately made me think of how I’m probably going to have to bury Satch soon. And I thought I’d killed the poor little thing (that was way cuter than Bambi, by the way) and immediately started bawling. Upon closer examination, it was not squished or cut up in any way, and I would have seen any parental adult deer bolt out of the grass, so I think it was already dead and I’d just uncovered it. But it was still awful. Especially when I had to dispose of it. It did not make for a pleasant afternoon.

On the plus side, though, on my way home from teaching tonight’s class, I’m pretty sure I saw Sasquatch entering Dollar General. I guess even Sasquatch likes a good bargain on his q-tips. I swear, I haven’t even touched the bourbon…yet.

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Ludo Fwend

07 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by emilypageart in Eerieville, Haunt, humor

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Labyrinth, Ludo, rock walls, rocks

Yesterday, S and I spent 8 hours moving 6 tons of rock to create several walls at the haunt. Rock by rock. By rock. By rock.

rock wall

Today, I feel like I’ve been run over by a train and someone has kindly danced a jig on my back while wearing cement blocks, then propped me up and demanded that I perform 182 pushups and 172 crunches and 258 squats (which is probably just about how many squats I actually did yesterday during this whole endeavor). I really wish Ludo had been there to help. Next time, I’m thinking I should get a bunch of cross-fit lunatics to come do it for me.

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