You guys would not believe the shit that goes down in the bathroom at my art studio. It’s a coed bathroom without a stall. Bitchez be drinkin’ and bitchez be actin’ all craycray. Here is a breakdown of what has happened so far over the last 3 years:

Of course, we discover revolting things all the time in there: people missing the toilet and having diarrhea all over the wall, same scenario with vomit, and countless clogged toilets, which led to us having to put up a sign:

There’s the usual misuse of toilet paper that you find in many public restrooms:

Then there are the things that make you really scratch your head, like the couple that disappeared into the restroom together twice, but not quite long enough for hanky panky. And then there were the two girls who went into the restroom together, took a crap, and came out without flushing. Again, there is no stall in there. Then there was the time we found white powder and a tiny memory card beside the toilet. Or the time someone poured what we can only hope was water into the rock garden on the toilet tank. Or the time I came in to discover what appeared to be remnants of a rat having chewed through the toilet paper still on the roll:

I didn’t have time to snap a photo of the actual thing, but here’s a drawing of it for your viewing pleasure.

And my favorite: the time someone rearranged the caddy in the bathroom:

We went from this, which hides the air freshener and the plunger…

…to this, which hides nothing.

Plus, the city made us install this reduced pressure zone backflow thingy, which bubbles up every time we wash brushes or hands or anything else:

It was a hideous monstrosity, so I decorated it like this:

‘Cause that’s how we roll.