Hi everybody, sorry for not posting yesterday. I went to NJ this weekend to train artists for a new sip & paint studio that’s opening, and I’ve been playing catch-up ever since. I’m still playing catch-up, but my friend Audrey just posted this on her blog, so I thought I’d share it, since it involves ME! Really, everything should involve me. Because I’m awesome. And humble. Anyway, Audrey is a kickass photographer and all around amazeballs person, so you should check her out:
Okay, so I was nominated for The Creative Blogger Award by TriSARAHtops, which I’m taking to mean that I am Mary Poppins (“practically perfect in every way”). Sarah is quirky and honest and has categories like “Childhood Traumas” and “Pretentious Self-Reflection” which should tell you that she’s kind of kickass. So check out her blog and laugh at what her dad has put her through.
The rules for the Creative Blogger Award are:
- Nominate a blog(s) and notify all nominees via their social media/blogs (nominate however many you want!)
- Thank and post the link of the blog that nominated you
- Share five facts about yourself to your readers
- Pass these rules on to them
- Proudly display the Creative Blogger image in your post
I’m going to nominate two blogs myself. The first is Primitive and Proper, because it’s the Creative Blogger Award, and I feel like I should nominate someone crafty. This is actually a woman I barely knew in college, but I was really good friends with her now-husband. In fact, he and I took a week long road trip to visit some friends and my then-boyfriend and nearly punched each other senseless in a punchbuggy war. I think my left arm is still bruised, 16 or 17 years later. Since her husband, like most guys,
sucks at keeping in touch has a very busy life, and since she, like many women, is way better at updating her Facebook page, she and I have actually become friends and I know way more about what’s happening in her life than his. I probably wouldn’t even know they had kids if it weren’t for her. They named their daughter Emerson and call her Emmy and I totally pretend that they secretly named her that so that it’d be close to my name because they love me so much (ignore the fact that I haven’t seen either of them in close to 15 years). Anyway, check out her blog because she’s got a ton of kickass home renovation and furniture rehab DIY stuff on there.
The second blog I’ll nominate is Rachel Being Chatty – not because she’s an artist or crafter or anything, but because that bitch is hilarious. In particular, her Deep Thoughts threads kill me – but in a good way. She’s not really violent or anything. Though she could be trying to sneak attack me. I did laugh once and have tea come out of my nose while reading her blog, which isn’t that different from choking to death, I guess. Maybe you should read her blog but make sure there aren’t any beverages around when you do it.
Now for the 5 facts about myself:
1. I’m terrified of the phone. I can text on it, sure, but actually answering the phone takes an act of bravery each and every time. I once worked as a receptionist and I lived in terror for those 6 months or so. Especially because it was always someone angry on the other end of the phone because I was working at a law firm full of people who didn’t return calls (maybe they were afraid of the phone, too?). Shudder. I may have nightmares tonight just thinking about it. So if you’re someone I love and I’m bad about calling you or answering when you call me, please understand that it’s not personal. It’s a phobia. So send me a nice letter instead (preferably attached to a box with a present inside).
2. I like boxes with presents inside – especially if the present is a pony. Or a platypus. Oh oh oh – or Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory! I would LOVE to have a bunch of employees who were actually shorter than me!
3. I have a freckle on my left big toe that I’m very proud of. I grew it myself. It’s as fond of silly socks as I am.
4. I don’t consider myself to be a writer. Mostly I’m just someone with verbal diarrhea that comes out through their hands onto a keyboard or a canvas. Oh, and someone incredibly vain who thinks people give a shit what I have to say.
5. I once won a burping contest. Against boys.
So there you have it. Go check out those bloggers and tell them they’re Mary Poppins, too.
I’ve been badgering my husband to get him to read my blog, but so far, no dice. I have decided that, in retaliation for not devoting every waking moment to worshipping the ground I walk on, I am going to spread lies about him all over the internet. By “all over the internet,” of course, I mean here on this blog because, let’s face it, I’m way too damn lazy to do it anywhere else. Today’s lie is that, before he met me, my husband wrangled llamacorns (llamas with unicorn horns, obviously) in New Zealand. He wasn’t very good at it, though, and whenever they’d spit at him, he’d run for the hills, and since he has hobbit feet (being from New Zealand and all), he’d trip a lot and the llamacorns could run him down and dance jigs around his sprawled body. Pathetic, really. I kept one of the llamacorns as a souvenir and mounted its head when it died and gave it to a friend whose life-long dream is also to become a llamacorn wrangler. Let’s hope she’s better at it than he was.
(I really did make this! That part isn’t a lie.)