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~ Because demented people need love, too.

The Perks of Being an Artist

Tag Archives: caregiving

The Gift of Words

04 Monday Dec 2017

Posted by emilypageart in art, book, dementia, Fractured Memories, humor, painting, Uncategorized, writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

book about caregiving, book about dementia, books about dementia, caregiving, dementia, dementia book, elephant art, Emily Page, Emily Page artist, Emily Page author, Fractured Memories, Raleigh artist, Raleigh author, self-publishing

I have words, y’all. Great words. And I put those words in a book. A great book. I also have paintings, y’all. Great paintings. And I put those paintings in the same book, which makes it not just a great book, but a fanfreakingtastic book.

You have friends and family, y’all. Great friends and family. You know what they need for holidays? My book (if you didn’t see that coming, I’m worried about you).

What’s the book about? Life and stuff – mostly life with dementia. But you don’t need to have experience with dementia to relate to the book. Check out a summary and buy a print copy here. Or read reviews and buy an eBook here (you can also buy a print copy here, but I make virtually nothing on sales on Amazon, so it’d be great – and cheaper for you – to buy them copies through my website).

Book cover 1

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They’ll Never Have To, But They’ll Never Get To

07 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by emilypageart in death, dementia, karma, kindness, Uncategorized

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Tags

Alzheimer's, caregiving, caring for someone with dementia, coping with dementia, death, dementia, frontotemporal dementia

Last night, I found out that someone from my hometown who had dementia died. I had posted about him about a year and a half ago. I never did meet him myself, but I had some contact with his wife and daughter recently as they were making decisions about placing him in a dementia care community. Today, as they were moving him into the facility they’d chosen, he had a heart attack and died. And I don’t know what to feel for them.

I’m devasted for his family. It’s so sudden and so shocking. After agonizing over the decision about how to move forward with his care, it’s all just been undone.

I’m relieved for his family. They won’t have to watch him continue to decline, to lose himself. They won’t spend a fortune on a dementia care facility and worry that the money might run out.

I’m devasted for his family. They don’t get anymore sweet moments with him. No more hugs or holding hands. They don’t have the privilege of caring for him and protecting him. They don’t get to tell him they love him.

I’m relieved for his family. They’ll never have to tell him they love him and have him look back at them blankly, not knowing who they are. They won’t have to fight for him to get the care he deserves, or deal with dirty diapers or disappearing hearing aids or choking incidents.

I’m devasted for his family – especially his daughter, who wasn’t there when it happened and so didn’t get to say goodbye.

I’m relieved for his family. His death was quick – no nights spent in recliners by his deathbed, waiting for his pain to finally end.

There’s no good way for this whole journey to go. There’s no easy path. Dementia sucks, plain and simple. So maybe send a little love out to the universe for his family – and all the other families coping with dementia – today, in the hopes that it will ease some tiny piece of their pain.

Dad and Em at Bodos 10-27-14 2

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Getting Your Book Seen

03 Saturday Jun 2017

Posted by emilypageart in book, dementia, Fractured Memories, gratitude, karma, kindness, Uncategorized

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art, art book, book about dementia, book review, caregiver, caregiving, dementia, dementia art, dementia writing, Fractured Memories, gift for caregiver, Raleigh artist, Raleigh author, self-publishing

Hello there, glorious Fractured Memories readers!! As you all know, I opted to self-publish Fractured Memories: Because Demented People Need Love, Too, which means that promoting it is up to me. So I’m going to do some uber-begging. First, in order for books (eBooks, soft cover, or hard cover) to be seen on Amazon, they need to have at least 25 reviews. So far, I have 7. That means I need to get at least eleventy more (I’m good at art and writing, not math, people). That means I need help. That means that, if you read and liked the book, you could write a review on Amazon. That means that people would know the book exists. That means people would buy it. That means I wouldn’t have to live off of ramen noodles, which are terrible for my triglyceride counts. Instead, I could live off of cheese, which is equally bad for my triglyceride counts but so much tastier. It also means that I could support my bourbon habit, which sterilizes my insides, washing all those triglycerides out (yup, I’m pretty sure that’s how it works).

And now, another big ask: if you liked the book, tell someone you actually know! You can post about it on social media, or just tell a friend who you think would like it. If they’ve been a caregiver, they’ll be saying, “Me, too!” the whole time they’re reading it. If they haven’t been a caregiver, you’re prepping them for something that most of us will go through at one time or another with a parent or spouse or friend; or, you’re helping them know how to be a better support for the caregivers they know. Win-win! If they want to order a print copy (or if you want to order a copy for them), they can do so on my website at http://shop.emilypageart.com/ (I make more money this way than on Amazon, AND they’ll save a little money, too). If they’re not interested, try describing the book as “a staggering work of genius,” or “the best thing that ever was – EVER.” If they’re still not interested, they sound like pretty boring people and you should probably not be friends with them anymore.

Many, many (and a few more) thanks in advance!!

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Fractured Memories: Because Demented People Need Love, Too

02 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by emilypageart in book, family, Fractured Memories, gratitude, humor, Uncategorized

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Alzheimer's, art, book, book about caregiving, book about dementia, caregiver, caregiving, caretaker, dementia, family, FLD, Fractured Memories, frontal lobe dementia, frontotemporal dementia, FTD, humor, marketing, publish my book, self publish, self-publishing

Bear with me (or bare with me, if you’re feeling frisky) for a moment. I realized I should really do a post that doesn’t include me bragging about all the mistakes I’ve made thus far in the self-publishing process and just do a post about the book itself. So here’s the skinny:

I wrote a book.

Now here’s the fatty:

It’s called Fractured Memories: Because Demented People Need Love, Too. Basically, in 2009, my dad was diagnosed at the age of 65 with frontotemporal dementia, a form of dementia that strikes early and progresses more quickly than Alzheimer’s, and for which there is no treatment to slow the progression of the disease. Via art and on this blog, I began documenting my family’s heartbreaking and hilarious experiences.

As a professional artist, I’ve often turned to art as a self-prescribed therapy to help deal with life’s trials. This battle was no different. I utilized the elephant as a symbol for dementia (because an elephant never forgets), and incorporated sheet music into the paintings because my dad had been a musician. Eventually, I created 40 paintings that are included in the book. I began blogging about the range of issues that arose daily as the disease progressed, documenting everything from my own fear of getting dementia, to my dad’s transition to diapers (and the various places he opted to drop his drawers and just “go”), to combatting his compulsions like the need to “clean” the cars with steel wool, to an exploration of how he might have gotten the disease, to finding the right dementia care facility, to the best ways to make him giggle. I approached the disease from the fresh viewpoint of a younger caregiver.

As my readership here grew, so did the suggestions from you awesome people that I turn the blog into a book. After hearing too many horror stories about traditional publishing contracts, I decided to self-publish. I ran a fundraising campaign for my book and presold over 500 copies in less than a month.

My dad was my best friend. He embraced the ridiculous, looked for the good in people, and mentored and helped people whenever he could. Following his diagnosis, when people asked how he was doing, he’d answer, ‘Not bad for a demented guy.’ He looked for the light hiding amidst the pain. He chose to be very open about what he was going through in the hopes that it would help other people cope with their own diagnosis or a loved one’s diagnosis. Writing this book seemed a fitting way to honor that legacy.

I tried not to shy away from the ugly, raw emotion of life with dementia, but I also looked for the laughter where it could be found. Rest assured, you will love my father as much as I do when the book is done, and perhaps gain some insight about how to cope with your own loved one’s dementia or how to support a caregiver.

So now that you’re all frothing at the mouth in sweet, sweet, demented anticipation, here’s where you can get it:

  1. Buy a paperback copy directly from me at http://shop.emilypageart.com/. When you buy it from me, you save a couple bucks and I make more on each book. Win win. And if you tell me you’ve ordered and tell me a terrible joke on any of my posts on the blog after you’ve placed your order, I’ll sign your copy with a terrible joke in return. Win win terrible win.
  2. Buy a hardcover or paperback copy off of Amazon here.
  3. Buy an eBook here or here.

And when you’ve had a chance to read it, and if you like it, please consider leaving a good review on GoodReads or Amazon or the stall door at Starbucks (only on a piece of paper taped to the door, please don’t vandalize). And then make sure your local caregiver and/or dementia support groups know about it. If you read it and don’t like it, please lie.

Hearts and snugglehugs,

Emily

book-cover-1

Floating Elephant says, “Buymebuymebuymebuyme!”

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Emily Page

Emily Page

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You can view my artwork on Facebook or on my website at http://www.emilypageart.com

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