Tag Archives: grapes

We’re Doomed

31 Saturday Dec 2016

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I’ve doomed us all. And I’m sorry, people, really I am. I realized that last year, for the first time in many, many years, I did not eat 12 grapes at midnight. And 2016 was, let’s be honest, a shit show. My bad. The last time I lost this many people in one year was my sophmore year in college, and by the end of that streak, I was singing “Another One Bites The Dust” each time someone new died.

Tonight, because I caught the plague, I forgot to pick up grapes. And let’s face it, I’m way to lazy to go get some now. So, again, I’ve doomed us all. My apologies in advance if 2017 sucks. Totally my fault. Next year, I’ll try not to let everyone down.

In the mean time, let me recommend Few bourbon to get you through the coming crisis. The bourbon fairy delivered it by mail yesterday. I’m not even kidding. I’ve never had to present ID proving I was at least 21 to accept a package from FedEx before and I was giddy with excitement. I got bourbon IN THE MAIL. And no, no one is paying me for this (although if any bourbon makers out there want to send me free booze to review, I’m totally in). Sadly, FEW doesn’t know I exist. A friend sent it to me for Christmas and it’s just reallllllllly good. Smooth and tasty and perfect with just ice and a splash of water (if you’re like me and not hard core enough to drink it neat). So if 2017 sucks as bad as I’m afraid it will due to my lack of grape eating, pick up a case of this tasty bourbon and forget your troubles.

few-bourbon

Okay, that’s it. Happy New Year, everyone. And again, my apologies if 2017 is craptastic. Maybe send me some grapes next year so I don’t fail you again.

Why You Shouldn’t Cut Open That Avocado

26 Wednesday Oct 2016

Posted by in art, painting, Uncategorized

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Painting avocados makes me slightly cranky. The skin is, well, unsatisfying with the crazy texture that has to pick up just enough highlight but not too much. And since it’s a perishable food, you have to work primarily from photos if you’re doing a realist style because it will require a couple of coats of paint (which need several days to dry in between). And I’ll be honest, I’m not a great photographer. I took a photography class in college many moons ago, and remember virtually nothing about the different settings on my camera and how to set up lighting for what I need. So any time I paint food that will spoil quickly, I’m stuck sort of muddling through with often not-so-great photos to work from. Really, I need to take another photography course that focuses on close-up images so that I can get a better handle on that, but there’s only so much time and money in my life.

Still, I’m generally able to get at least a pretty good idea from the photos I take what’s going on in the composition I’ve set up, and I can push the colors and sharpen edges to be what I really want them to be when I start painting. In the painting below, I was dealing with not just the obnoxious-to-paint skin (I mean, really, who designed these things – didn’t they KNOW I was going to want to paint them some day and that they were going to make my life really difficult?!), but I had also cut it in half since the inside is the good stuff that makes my mouth water, so painting from life wasn’t an option.

All of that being said, I’m happy with how it turned out and I will refrain from licking it for at least a little while longer.

Avocado and Cherry Tomatoes

Avocado With Cherry Tomatoes 8″ x 8″ oil on board

Original available at http://shop.emilypageart.com/ and prints available at http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/1-emily-page.html?tab=artwork.

A couple more examples of times I was an idiot and decided to cut food open to photograph it for a new painting:

grapes_compressed

Grapes 5″ x 5″ oil on board

apples_compressed

Apples 6″ x 12″ oil on board

Prints available on Fine Art America (here for the grapes and here for the apples).