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The Perks of Being an Artist

Tag Archives: hand towel

Feeling Stabby

07 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by emilypageart in humor, husband

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hand towel, husband, STAB, washcloth

Last night I threatened to beat S to death with a paint brush gently reminded S about putting a fresh hand towel up when he removed the dirty one. This morning, I see this:

washcloth

Does he really not know the difference between a washcloth and a hand towel? He can’t see that it’s significantly smaller? Really? Or is he involved in some diabolical plot to drive me slowly mad?

He should really tread lightly. I’m feeling kind of stabby today. Which reminds me, I went to high school at a place called STAB. Well, technically it was St. Anne’s Belfield, but all of the school gear like t-shirts and bumper stickers said STAB. For the sports teams they had things like STAB Soccer and STAB Lacrosse. When traveling out of state in the family Volvo with your STAB Football bumper sticker on it, you have to wonder what people who didn’t know about the school must have thought. Why such violent feelings towards a sport, for heavensake? And wouldn’t stabbing the football cause it to deflate? That’d make it way harder to play with. I wasn’t big into sports, but I used to really wish that they’d had a bumper sticker that said STAB Artists. Except that someone might think I really meant it and try to stab me. So maybe the school was right to not make gear like that. Even if you weren’t supporting my dream, thank you for protecting my life, STAB, thank you.

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I See Poop in My Husband’s Future

07 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by emilypageart in humor, husband

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

hand towel, husband

S has the habit of not actually washing his hands after he puts gel or spray or whatever in his hair, and instead just wipes them on the hand towel in the bathroom. Then, because it’s sticky, he sets it on top of the washing machine but never replaces it with a clean hand towel. I have explained the purpose of the towel, and how, if there isn’t one there, there’s nothing to dry my hands on, and how this makes me really crankypants and way more likely to murder him. He did it AGAIN today, which means I may have to slip him a revenge laxative explain the point of a hand towel all over again. The joys of married life.

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Emily Page

Emily Page

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