Dear Mother Nature,
You are capable of dropping vast quantities of rain upon North Carolina. We get it. You’re wildly talented. Stop showing off.
The Soaking Masses
Public Service Announcement: This one is for the ladies. If you finally decide to get your sorry ass off the sofa and go for a walk, and you look outside and see an overcast sky, don’t put on a white shirt. Mother Nature will not take pity on you. She will have no problem attempting to smite thee with torrential rain. And you will end up showing off the lovely tattered bra you’re wearing to the other pathetic people who thought they could sneak outside for a bit without getting soaked.
Also, next time, you should probably consider bringing along bourbon.