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Tag Archives: random act of kindness

Kindness Visits the Danube

16 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by emilypageart in culture, death, dementia, gratitude, kindness, Uncategorized

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Danube, gratitude, kindness, pennies, pennies for Nick, random act of kindness, tender mercies

So, I want to talk about two acts of kindness I experienced on my trip down the Danube with my mom. But first, I want to share the way that we brought my dad along on the trip with us. As you know if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, I associate pennies that are heads side up with my dad (complete explanations here here here and here), so we decided to leave pennies around the cities we visited to spread cheer and luck and “make someone verrrrry happy!” #penniesforNick

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But as I mentioned at the start of the blog, I wanted to talk about two acts of kindness, one that was given to me, and one that we were able to perform. The first night on the boat, we settled in for 50’s and 60’s rock night in the lounge with the boat’s piano player. The first tune, while not all that meaningful to me, induced half of the audience to get up and use the dance floor. And again, if you’ve been reading this blog for the last couple years, you know that one of the things I miss most is dancing with my dad. So I teared up watching everyone. I took deep breaths, drank some water, and tried to let it go, singing along to all the songs (based on my knowledge of 50’s and 60’s lyrics, I’m actually about the same age as the majority of the passengers – who knew?). Then the piano player started “When I’m 64,” which choked me up again, because I remembered when my dad played his favorite version of it (Connie Evingson’s) and we were at the beginning of trying to find out what was wrong with him, and he had just turned 65 so the song had taken on a new meaning. But again, I fought through and got Mom to get up and dance with me to it. I was determined not to let it get the best of me. The piano player was equally determined to reduce me to a puddle bourbon-y ooze, though. He played “Yesterday,” which I had performed my first year of college for a showcase with some friends, one of whom was killed by a drunk driver the following year. But still, I held it together. Mostly. But then, oh then, he went into “See Ya Later Alligator.” Are you freaking kidding me?! It’s not like it’s that common a song that I should have expected it. I was undone by it. I ran out to the deck and hid on the stairs and sobbed. Mom came out after a minute or so to check on me and helped me breathe. Until, we heard the music inside turn to “Unforgettable,” you know, the song Natalie Cole sang with her dead father from the first jazz CD my dad ever gave me? I mean really. There was no hope at that point, so we retired to our room.

The next morning, one of the other passengers, who looked like Cameron Diaz by the way, set a notebook that said “Happy Thoughts” on the cover next to me at breakfast, gave me a quick hug, and walked off to eat. Inside, she had written a note about losses she had suffered over the years (including 3 brothers and a husband, and she was only 50) and how she looked for life’s “tender mercies,” seeking out the good that’s still in the world and recording it in a journal like the one she was giving me. Little did she know, I do the same thing. Kindred spirits. When I went out to tour the next day, I found a new blank journal and gave it to her so she wouldn’t be without one on the trip.

So that was the first act of kindness we experienced.

The second one we were able to do for someone else. At several meals, we sat with two women who were really friendly and with whom we had a fair amount in common. On the second to last night, one of them divulged to my mom that she had brought her partner’s ashes with her to scatter somewhere, but hadn’t figured out how and when to do it, and she was running out of time. Mom and I had a small balcony off of our room, so we offered it to her to use. It had rained all evening, but the rain had stopped. It was cool out and there were lightning flashes in the distance, and we were cruising down the Danube past sleepy little villages. So we vacated the room and let her take the time she needed. She seemed relieved when she emerged. I think worrying about how to do it had been weighing on her. But she was able to let that piece of her partner go and know she had fulfilled a promise. And I was grateful to her for trusting us to be, in a tiny way, a part of her journey forward on her own.

I love the phrase “life’s tender mercies” that my shipmate used in her note to me. I love those unexpected kindnesses that can pop up half way around the world. I love that being kind to a stranger is still something worth doing and something that makes you feel good, too. In all the sadness of the past year, I’m grateful that love springs forward from the most unlikely of places. And so we continue on on our own journeys, looking for the light and the lucky pennies.

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Reminder: A Little Father’s Day Help

19 Sunday Jun 2016

Posted by emilypageart in culture, death, dementia, family, gratitude, kindness, Uncategorized

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father, Father's Day, pennies from heaven, penny, random act of kindness

Just a reminder to anyone who feels like cheering me and helping me honor my dad on my first Father’s Day following his death: Pretty please with sugar on top, put a penny out (heads up) somewhere, then snap a quick picture of it and email it to me at info@emilypageart.com or post it on my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/emilypageart/. I love you to pieces (large ones so that you’re easy to put back together again). You’re the best.

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Brad the Saxman

30 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by emilypageart in culture, gratitude, kindness, music

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amazing grace, busking, homeless, Jamey Aebersold, playing for tips, random act of kindness, sax player

There’s a homeless man who plays the saxophone on the corner at a street light near my house, and whenever I see him out there playing, I roll down my windows to listen, and if I’ve got a dollar, I give it to him. I don’t always give handouts to the people begging on the corner, but he’s essentially working for tips. He’s giving me something of value in exchange for my money. He has a really nice tone, and it’s a little bright moment for me many days. In the summer, he had his daughter, who looked to be about 6 or 7 years old, hanging out with him while he busked, and his sign says his wife is pregnant. I’ve actually seen them all waiting for the bus several times on a nearby street, and she does, indeed, look very pregnant.

Anyway, I’ve got several of my dad’s Jamey Aebersold play-along jazz cd’s. It’s got all the backup piano, drums, and bass for each tune, and you can practice playing the melody and improvising on top of that backup. I remember hearing them pretty much daily coming from downstairs while my dad practiced. For the rest of my life, I’ll remember the voice counting off each tune before they start to play. I had grabbed them for myself when we were cleaning out Dad’s studio, thinking they might come in handy, but none of them are in keys that I sing in, so they’re pretty much useless to me.

I haven’t seen the sax player on the corner because I’ve been leaving the house at different hours, and then we had several days of rain, and I realized I was missing seeing him. When I left the house today, he was at his corner again, and I pulled over and hopped out of the car and ran over to him. I asked if he had access to a cd player or laptop and he said he did, so I drove back to the house and grabbed the play-along cd’s and gave them to him. I complimented his nice clean tone and asked where he’d learned to play. His name is Brad and he had been a music major at a nearby college. I didn’t ask what had caused him to be in the situation he’s in, I just handed him the cd’s and explained what they were. Now that I know he can read music, I’m going to give him the charts that go with the cd’s. We chatted for a couple minutes, and he seems like a really nice guy. As I left, he started playing Amazing Grace.

Random act of kindness for the day? Check! Or really, since he makes me smile whenever I hear him, I’m going to call this a random act of gratitude.

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Thank You to the Un-thanked

19 Friday Dec 2014

Posted by emilypageart in blog, kindness

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cards, kindness, random act of kindness, thank you, WalMart

Last night, S and I went to WalMart, home of the underappreciated employee, and passed out thank you cards to the staff. It was just a reminder that they are noticed and appreciated even if their pay doesn’t always reflect that. There was one guy in particular to whom I was pleased to say thank you. He wears an oxygen tank in a backpack with tubes into his nose while he stocks the shelves. That’s hardcore. I know a lot of other people who would not have the stamina to do the job who are perfectly healthy, so I respect the hell out of this guy. He was positively giddy to have someone just give him a simple card and acknowledge that what he’s doing is hard. When I handed the cards to people, I tried to say something like, “You have such a great smile, here’s a thank you card,” or, “The hot pink in your hair cheers me up, here’s a thank you card,” when I handed it over.

Anyway, I just wanted to remind you that holiday giving doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. A $1 card to someone who might normally go unrecognized can brighten their holiday season. The cashier at the drive-thru of your local fast food joint, the busboy at your favorite restaurant, the delivery guy who drops off packages for you, the receptionist at your doctor’s office, the janitor at your child’s school. $5 to brighten the day of 5 people. That’s math I actually do like.

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