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The Perks of Being an Artist

Tag Archives: sexual assault

Me, Too

17 Tuesday Oct 2017

Posted by emilypageart in culture, gratitude, kindness, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

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#metoo, me too, rape, rape culture, rape survivors, sexual assault, sexual assault survivor, sexual harrassment, silent victims, survivor, women

Watching the #MeToo thread on Facebook and Twitter the last couple days has been heartbreaking. The details of my own sexual harassment and assault aren’t really important. They’re very much like what so many other women and girls have experienced on a regular basis. My own experiences could have been so much worse, and they aren’t what’s heartbreaking here.

What I find really heartbreaking is how many women I know who’ve been assaulted and, many years later, are still too scared or ashamed to simply post two little words, “Me, too.” As bad as the massive trending thread looked, it’s actually worse. And even in the midst of the bravery of so many women standing up and demanding to be counted, our society still hasn’t given all of us enough of a feeling of safety for everyone to do so. It’s not a failing of the women for not feeling safe enough to post the truth, but of the rest of us who haven’t provided that safe place –  a place like, oh, you know, the world.

For all of those women and girls who are grieving silently, I want you to know that you are, in fact, heard. If you never feel okay telling anyone, that’s alright. But I hope you eventually find someone who you can trust to believe you, embrace you, and help you understand that you don’t need to be ashamed and you are not at fault – someone who will help you forgive yourself even though you are not the one who needs forgiveness. I hope you rise, my dear.

Me, too

Prints and other merchandise with this painting on it can be found here and here.

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Confessions of a Chauvinist Enabler

14 Friday Oct 2016

Posted by emilypageart in culture, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

chauvinism, Doland Trump, enabling, feminism, groping, sexism, sexual assault, Trump, words matter

Confession: when the tape came out of Donald Trump talking about kissing and grabbing women and getting away with it because he was famous, I wasn’t shocked. Not because I already assumed he did those things – though I did – but because, in my late teen to early adult years, that kind of talk was pretty prevalent. My family didn’t speak that way, and my dad branded himself as a feminist from my earliest years, but when I got to college, many of my guy friends just talked that way. No big deal.

I dated the same guy for most of my college years, and was often the only girl in the frat house or in the suite of rooms he and his friends shared, and was usually treated as just “one of the guys.” This meant that I was privy to their unfiltered discussions. Talk that objectified and denigrated women was just normal. And these were not bad guys. These were guys I actually really liked. And while it made me slightly uncomfortable on occasion, I normalized it because those kinds of conversations were so ubiquitous. I didn’t realize until later the damage that it was doing to my own psyche and sense of self-worth. They weren’t doing it to be mean. They weren’t trying to hurt me. And I sincerely believe that they would never have acted on those fantasies or actually assault women. They were just being braggarts and puffing up their chests and making light of sex and probably making themselves feel better in the times when they weren’t “getting any.” But words matter.

I’m ashamed to admit that I never once asked the guys to stop talking that way; that I didn’t realize at the time that I was hurting myself and my friends by staying silent, or worse, laughing along. I enabled that backward, chauvinistic thinking. I made it okay by silently condoning that kind of thinking and speech.

But I guarantee you that none of those guys would speak that way now. They have families, and jobs, and are good, decent, loving people. It was never their intent to hurt anyone back then, and as they’ve matured, so has their thinking.

So what is it about our society that teaches young men that that kind of talk is acceptable? Why do we continue to judge women based on their physical attractiveness and/or availability? It seems like it’s only gotten worse because of social media. We are sexualizing girls at younger and younger ages. There have been several high-profile rape cases which resulted in the perpetrator getting only a slap on the wrist. And now we’ve reached the point where an obliquely chauvinistic and thoughtless man is within a stone’s throw of the presidency.

I apologize that I didn’t speak up back then to my friends. I apologize that I wasn’t brave enough, or smart enough, to figure out how wrong it was. It won’t happen again.

 

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Emily Page

Emily Page

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