Here is lie #2 about my husband: My husband is a murderer. Remember how I said that we had tons of slugs in our apartment complex? Well, my husband had heard that if you sprinkle them with salt, it makes them go away. He figured they hated it and it would make them run (and by run, I mean ooze) as far away as they could. So he sprinkled salt on one and it shriveled up a died and looked like a dried, black booger. Or a little cat turd, maybe. Delightful, no? He didn’t realize it would die, so then he felt really, really bad about it and got super guilty. Instead of comforting him that he hadn’t intended to cut the slug down in the prime of its life, I chose to tell him he was cruel and evil.
Okay, so this story is actually true, but I’m the slug slayer and my husband is the non-soother. They should really make that the next hit TV show. Instead of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it’ll be Emily the Slug Slayer. It might not be as fast paced, but that’s okay. They could bring in slug wranglers to get the slugs to act in the scenes. Hey, maybe the hubs would be better at slug wrangling than he was at llamacorn wrangling! I bet they’d pay him a lot of money for it. Unless they decided that the money was better spent on creating CGI slugs. They’d probably have to put a disclaimer at the end of each show saying that no slugs were harmed in the making.
Also, I think I have slug on the brain because under the Advanced Settings tab on wordpress, there’s a box called SLUG. What the hell is that for??! Is it supposed to signify that this post will be so kickass that it’ll slug you upside the head? Is it a way to let all of my slug readers know that this post will be about them? Will someone please enlighten as to the point of the SLUG box?
