I just got back from a trip to NJ to help a new paint and sip studio open (near Newark in Totowa for anyone who lives in that area http://www.aspirepaintstudio.com/), and am exhausted, but had to tell you about a really weird conversation I had with the guy in line at security in front of me. Keep in mind, I was bleary-eyed and just barely functional, and he decided I looked like the perfect person to chat with, and I really wasn’t feeling it. I couldn’t tell if he was just bored and trying to pass the time, or if he was hitting on me, or what, but I’m not a morning person and I hadn’t had time to stop for coffee and couldn’t have taken it through security anyway and please just leave me alooooooone! Note that I’m avoiding eye contact and giving one word answers whenever possible:

Him: Where you traveling to?

Me: North Carolina.

Him: Why?

Me: It’s home.

Him: Why were you here?

Me: Business.

Him: What do you do?

Me: Artist.

Him: Wow! That’s so cool! Do you make a living at it?

Me: Yup.

Him: Do you live in a house or an apartment?

Me: House.

Him: A big house?

Me: No.

Him: Wow, so you’re really living a charmed life, huh?

Me: I guess.

Him: Hmmm, so do you have any troubles, or if everything perfect?

Me: Everyone has troubles.

Him: How do you deal with them?

Me: Medication.

Him: What medication are you on?

Me: <finally making eye contact> Dude. Am I going to tell you what medication I take?

Him: <nervous laugh> I’m not, like, asking for some of it. Just curious.

Me: No.

Him: But –

Me: No.

WTF? On what planet is it acceptable behavior to ask a stranger what medications they’re on? And how do you not pick up on the fact that I am SO not into this conversation?

To be fair though, there was a bird flying through the airport, and a few minutes later I said, out loud, “That bird has a hole in it’s butt.” No idea why I said it out loud, but the guy said, “Um, all birds have holes in their butts. They have butt holes.” To which I said, “Technically, they have cloacas. But that’s not what I meant. It was missing some tail feathers so I could see daylight through it. I don’t know why I’m saying this out loud…must be my medication.” And then he was off and running and talking to me again, and it was totally my fault because I had spoken out loud to no one in particular. Sigh.